actually, I'm a sock model
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My pussy is not your playground.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
my poor anus
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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