yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
