I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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