You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
