if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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