I heard we made out
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize