last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
