if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
