With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
