There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
