Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
