Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
