Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
