thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
