Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
