I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
