everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
