Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
