Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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