people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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