come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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