CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize