I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
