Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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