If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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