I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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