Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize