I love black thongs
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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