i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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