My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
