I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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