when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
