Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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