I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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