dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
now i know why i became what i already was.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
