I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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