remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
