careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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