You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
