Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
