So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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