SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
