he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
