Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
