If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
