those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
