lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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