Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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