Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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