VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
