That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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