sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
