I faked an abortion last night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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