We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize