Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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