We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
