everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
my poor anus
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
