don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
